Day 3 always seems to be the hardest with jet lag. Felix did fantastic on the airplane (although he did not sleep once during the whole trip) and it has only been slightly rocky with getting him back on his rhythm since we've arrived in Vermont. Seriously, I cant complain. Look at that blue sky. The temperature is in the 70's. But today, day 3, it is really hitting me and I am feeling pretty exhausted.
When I decided that I would start blogging again I promised myself I would blog with a purpose. I wanted to write about subjects that concern me, that concern the world. I wanted to lead people to articles, videos, ideas that would challenge or confirm their convictions. I figured that by sharing what I am struggling with and working on, I was making the world just a tad bit smaller and maybe just a little bit better. I've said before that there are tons of ideas floating around inside of my head but, right now, when I try to find the energy to face them - it's not there.
I've got to let go because I still want to blog and I know that I'll find the time to write blog posts that are meaningful to me on a deeper level than just a peek into my everyday life. I've got to let go of this guilt for only posting things that I consider superficial just like I've got to let go of Felix eating perfectly for this whole trip - he may eat only pasta and mashed potatoes, and that's ok. I've got to believe that the tiny moments are important and can touch others just as I've got to remember that I am on vacation; I'm here to be with my family and I need to shut down this computer when I can. I've got to allow myself to post this but then tomorrow decide to completely change my mind.
So, while I continue to struggle to find my voice and the energy to do what I want to do, I'll keep throwing up random photos and links and hope that they bring a little beauty into the world. I definitely believe Small is Beautiful. (Thanks to the Shutter Sisters, again, for reminding me of it.)
(One thing that is really odd for me right now is that back in Paris, where it was only slightly warm, all the trees were flowering, buds were bursting, the tulips were almost over, while here it feels like summer but everything is so brown. It feels quite strange.)
I love the photo of the swinging shoes. It so reminds me of spring!!!!
Thank you for sharing it!
Posted by: Ren from The Road 2 Forty 2 | April 20, 2008 at 09:32 PM
I love the photo of the swinging shoes. It so reminds me of spring!!!!
Thank you for sharing it!
Posted by: Ren from The Road 2 Forty 2 | April 20, 2008 at 09:33 PM
Sometimes I get frustrated in the same way - in terms of having a proactive blog. But I do think that small moments can help others. Like for me reading this very post, I know someone else in the world wants to act for change in a positive way. And she's a mom, like me.
That counts for something.
Posted by: Amy | April 20, 2008 at 11:45 PM
Sometimes you have to save yourself before you save the world. I love that pic :)Happy Holiday Sarah and co.
Posted by: Hay | April 21, 2008 at 01:36 AM
I hear ya.
Also, you can't spell superficial with out the word "Super"... :)
Posted by: Barbara | April 21, 2008 at 05:33 AM
I get that. The only thing I can say is that sometimes you need to post just to get into the swing of things. There's nothing wrong with posting what you consider without purpose. I can guarantee you that you've influenced someone even if it's just yourself. It's a muscle you need to flex so that when the big stuff comes out it comes easily, in a way that people understand. Besides more people will read when they're able get a glimpse of your everyday life.
Do enjoy your vacation, AWAY from the computer. That's important too.
Posted by: Anna | April 21, 2008 at 06:34 AM
Oh that sounds like a wonderful place to be--Vermont in the Spring!
As for your writing I think you just have to let your thoughts free flow and you will find your voice. All great blogs with wonderful messages were once and often still are family blogs with all the ups and downs and ins and outs that go with family life. I agree with Anna that you need to post to get into the swing of things. And it's the things you think are meaningless that reach out most to others.
Posted by: misschrisc | April 21, 2008 at 05:19 PM
i am on day 4 of jet lag (traveling west to east over the atlantic), and i'm finally feeling a bit normal again! i hope you feel better tomorrow.
if you need a computer break, then take one. i completely understand the internal pressure that one places on oneself to write, write write. but small moments are good! i've enjoyed everything you've done so far, even the small ones.
do what's best for you! enjoy your vacation!
Posted by: jen | April 21, 2008 at 11:36 PM
Oh, I so know this space you describe in this post. I am there, too. So far, I rarely get past the little moments of our lives. And often, those little celebrations feel right. We don't celebrate the little moments enough. But then, other times, I am so seized by the immensity of these times we live in and I want nothing more than to inspire change and grow, learn, share, and grow some more in the process. Then I feel like I don't want our little celebrations to get lost in the big and deep ideas. And I always fall back to the little moments because within the little moments hide all of the big ideas. Maybe some day the little pieces will come together for an inspiring post.
While you're finding your voice, remember that lots of people are enjoying all the small moments you share.
Blessings
Posted by: Brynn | April 26, 2008 at 05:18 AM
Glad to see you blogging again! Oh, and about the eating thing, we just spent a week in Brittany with the kids and after day 3 of them only wanting to eat potatoes, pasta and merguez, I just said the heck with it, we'll get back into our normal rhythm in Paris, we're on vacation now, let them enjoy (even though I still feel half guilty about it!)
Have a great time on your trip!
Posted by: andie | April 27, 2008 at 02:06 AM
I think I'll adopt the same motto: small is beautiful...J'ai ni le temps ni l'envie to blog right now...but I don't want to delete my blog, either.
Posted by: meredith | April 28, 2008 at 10:32 AM
I love your photos. You have a beautiful site!
And I know what you mean about the Sadie/Sarah thing. I tried going by Rebecca (my real whole name) for a while, but I always go back to having people call me Becky!
It's nice to meet you!
Posted by: Wonders Never Cease | April 28, 2008 at 06:33 PM
I love your photos. You have a beautiful site!
And I know what you mean about the Sadie/Sarah thing. I tried going by Rebecca (my real whole name) for a while, but I always go back to having people call me Becky!
It's nice to meet you!
Posted by: Wonders Never Cease | April 28, 2008 at 06:34 PM
where are you? when are you coming back??
Posted by: screamish | May 10, 2008 at 03:07 PM
Hey-are you still out there??? Hope all is well.
Posted by: Kristen | May 15, 2008 at 06:18 AM
Amen, sister. I'm having the same conundrum.
How are you doing? Keep enjoying Felix and everything else will somehow fall into place. Or not, but that might be ok, too.
Posted by: valentina | May 31, 2008 at 10:38 PM